Popcorn for days...

Who doesn't love going to the movies, especially during the summer!? And the smell of that salty, buttery, delicious snack...popcorn.
So who was luckier than me, the end of my senior year I was hired as a concession worker at The Movies. The manager, Mr. Dawson, and I are actually still friends! Our girls went to the same daycare and now preschool.
The Movies:  That was the name, we had to answer the phone like this..."Thank you for calling Cinemark, The Movies, the best seat in town, how may I help you?"
The problem with this lovely sounding address to callers was that our seats were the absolute worst.  I'm not kidding. No matter what seat you sat in they squeeked, smelled, were itchy and sometimes customers fell out of them.  This could be a problem.
I spent my first several months scrubbing kettles, cleaning butter pumps, upselling CocaCola products, slinging candy bars and pickles. And on Thursday nights I would stay late with the crew after closing time to preview the next week's movies. Usually getting home around 3 am.
Then in the Fall, I went on to Harding, a Christian college in Arkansas, for school. My first year there was amazing and sad at the same time. I had a boyfriend from my hometown that went with me, he was actually a year ahead. The most annoying part was everyone said I followed him there, but in reality I had been accepted to Harding before that guy even had ever heard of the place. He ended up being an ex boyfriend. I don't need to say much more about him, but I can say after I broke up with him he tried to make my life  at Harding very difficult... anyway.
Every break I would return to the theater at home and everything fell into its natural routine.  The summer after my first year at Harding we had a new Manager at The Movies, Mr. Walker. He asked if I had thought of being an assistant manager, I explained my leaving for college, he said no problem, and the training began. I loved it! I got to count money, thread movies in the projector, and no more scrubbing the kettle(except that one time someone didn't show up and I closed concession.) I went back to school and I missed our Thursday nights. We counted all inventory, bags, cups, candy, jalapeños, pickles, and bottled water. Remember Thursday night is the time we stayed up late to preview the upcoming shows.  So what was a lonely, heartbroken, single girl to do on a  Thursday night thousands of miles from home!? You know I called down to the theater and talked to the other managers every Thursday, interrupting their count and catching up on the gossip and movie theater.   Then, one Thursday Mr Walker explained he was being transferred closer to his home, some many states away, and the new manager was a lady, but she didn't last long and I only worked with her on one break. Then she was replaced by Mr. Phillips, my last manager at The Movies.
I went back to The Movies, the summer of 2005, as I always had. The difference was I had decided not to return to Harding, my boyfriend at the time (now Husband) was here at home and I decided to transfer to Fresno State, easy right?  No. Since I had been out of state several of my courses didn't transfer so I actually attended a junior college for a while, once I had my associate degree transferring was much easier.  In the midst of all of this change, December 2005, The Movies was closing. The owner of the building wanted to increase the rent and corporate was like no way that place doesn't even make enough money for all that. So corporate closed us down. The funny thing is that greedy building owner ended up with no one paying him rent at that location, ever again.  You can still drive by the old theater, vacant and boarded up all these years later.
A building full of memories,
The last night we had to send Cinemark any of their property so we were working on tearing it all down, boxing it up, and then one of the other managers pulled out the cards and we played Texas hold 'em, my first and last time playing, (until a few months ago at a charity event, in which I was pretty good, I guess I'm a good bluffer and make smart bets, but then I got up to the big table and I was in over my head so I went all in and lost it all, but that's another story).  That guy Conrad, is still my friend today, great man with a lovely wife and beautiful adopted children. He and his wife even came to my wedding, 2 years after the theater closed down.

I miss the old crew, the seemingly Simple days, and being 21.

Writing again.

I have kept a written journal beside my bed since I was 11.  I know this for a fact, because I wrote about my 5tn grade teacher in it. I was very disappointed in 5th grade.  My favorite teacher was my 4th grade teacher. He was a scientist, he spent time with us and he's one of the reasons I teach today. What Happened?! Well, I'm here to tell you. He was moved from 4th to 5th grade right along with me, however I was not chosen to be in his class again. It was the disappointment of a lifetime... I really feel bad for my 5th grade teacher, it wasn't her fault she wasn't him, but those were some high expectations to live up to. 

I wonder about Mr. Reiss often, I heard the next year he went to work at a zoo. This seemed appropriate as he liked animals, we had 2 classroom pet snakes and if you were lucky you could go in at lunch sometimes and watch the snakes eat the mice. I hope he likes the Zoo. I sure am glad he was my teacher. 

I hope to be a teacher like him. Not That I am going to buy snakes, we already have a tortious so I'm good, but I want to be caring and considerate to my students and help them feel valued and important. 

So, I've kept a journal for years beside my table. I think I will start journaling here sometimes instead. Not that I think everyone needs to know my feelings and all, but I think this will be fun. We shall see. 

CLAIRE is 3 and as SwEeT as can be!

May 12, 2010 was the day Claire Dionna Suzanne Dobbins was born and my life was changed forever.

 (She's 3!)

Being a mom really DID change my life completely. I could no longer just go out anytime I wanted, do whatever, whenever I wanted, go on a date with my husband whenever we felt like it... arrangements must be made for anything and everything now a days. We take into consideration how our actions will affect our daughter, time away, is it really worth it? Is this time away beneficial to our lives enough to not be spending that time with our daughter. Typically the answer is, yes, the time away is important enough. And we have been so incredibly blessed with family that is always willing and able to spend time with Claire so we can go out on dates, go to the gym, go to school and work. I think Chase and I are a pretty good team, backed by some pretty incredible family members.
So, yesterday, for Claire's birthday we made the day ALL about her, nothing much better whether you are 3 or 30, right?
First we got donuts for breakfast, then we rode scooters around the neighborhood. Then we got the house ready for a party, cleaned, prepped food, and got our 3 year old ready for her nap, which she never really took with all of the excitement. While she was "quietly resting" in her room we filled the entire house with streamers and balloons, you should have seen her face when "rest time" was over! Pure joy!
We had family over for Claire's choice of food: Hamburgers, chicken, rice, salad, green beans and of course CUPCAKES.

After blowing out her 3 birthday candles and making a wish ( I have no idea what she wished for, but I would like to find out), then we promptly went to opening gifts. All other gifts were ignored, forgotten and tossed to the side once she saw Roller Blades from her Uncle Kyle, which she had to wear for the duration of opening gifts. 

Luckily she had a helmet! Her new roller blades were coupled with knee pads, elbow pads and gloves! She looked so cool, and she had so much fun skating around with her dad, look at that smile!

We cleaned up after all the family left and we will continue the celebration for a few weeks. She gets to go to the movies and Monterey Bay Aquarium for the first time soon. We do special milestones for each year. For example, when you are 3 you get to go to the movies, when you are 4 you can go to a baseball game, 5 Disneyland, 10 she can get her ears pierced... etc... This makes every year fun with something to look forward to. We keep in mind her development and what we think she will enjoy (with her active personality outdoor things are typically the best!) We took her camping at only 3 months old, and we will be doing that every year until we can't move!

I had Claire answer this really exciting questionnaire! I can't wait to do this with her again next year and every year after to compare the answers. She is so FUNNY!

What is your name? Claire Dionna Suzanne Dobbins ______

How old are you?____________________Free (3)________                

What is your favorite color?____________Pink_______________________

Who are your Best Friends?___Bobbi, Mommy and Daddy__________________________

Favorite animal?_______The Elephant__________________________________________

What do you want to be when you are all grown up?____Kill Bad Guys_________________

What are your favorite movies?_Home Alone, Harry Potter, Curious George, Daddy Day care, Scooby Doo, Monsters Inc, Little Monsters,

What are your favorite books?_ _Twinkle Twinkle Star, (recited the poem twinkle star), Olivia, Elmer, Curious George.

What makes you happy?____You laughing.

What does Your mom/dad do for work? Mommy goes to the gym and school. Daddy goes to work and kills bad guys.

Where do you like to eat? In Panera with a baby chair, I eat sandwiches and macaroni and rice and beans and green beans and and I drink chocolate milk and eat raviolis.

What did you want to eat for your birthday? Cupcakes,

What is your favorite food to eat?__________Chocolate Milk, Raviolis, Mac and Cheese, chicken nuggets, corn dogs, baby hamburgers.

What is your favorite song to sing?_Dear Abby, Drive my truck,

What games do you like to play?___Riding bikes, scooter, swing set, bubbles, going to the park, I like to do push ups (shows me some push ups)

  

A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.

--Agatha Christie

Organizing, de-cluttering and cleaning.

Many people call it "Spring Cleaning" but if you were to visit our home it might as well be called spring, summer, fall and winter cleaning. Every season I get into moods where I start organizing, de-cluttering and cleaning things that don't get the USUAL weekly go around (i.e. vacuuming, mopping, cleaning the stove/fridge/counters, bathrooms you know, the usual)...Last year when the school year was over I made a list of "To-do" for the summer and I completed it in a week because I was so excited to check items off of my list.
Well, a couple of weeks ago I got into I guess what is technically "winter cleaning." And the feeling hasn't gone away and the list is being formed and checked off daily. I think I got my husband, Chase, in on it too, he started cleaning a shelf in the pantry... of course this could have been to make room for the alcohol my mom gifted us.  My mom is going on a cleaning streak in her kitchen and she is passing items onto me... (like the aforementioned alcohol). So, of course I decided i should clean out my entire house and I have been busy.
Last week I decided to tackle my closet. I went through my 2 drawers of workout clothes, and through all of the hangers. Once I was finished I had to go shopping. I hold onto things that either no longer fit, are falling apart, or unflattering (why did I buy THAT in the first place?? lol)
Today I went through the pantry.. I typically "organize" the pantry every couple of weeks after grocery shopping, but actually cleaning it and de-cluttering, that's once every 3 months...However, even though I tackle this favorite job (seriously I love organizing my pantry items) I found some stuff that shouldn't have been in there... first of all I found some beef jerky that had got shoved in the back of the pantry... it had mold on it.. i didn't even think that was possible..then I found some food items dated 2010 and 2011....needless to say I threw those items away.
Yesterday I organized the "Spice cabinet".. I like to only keep spices in there, but somehow there were spices, medications (some dated 2009!),  and an old sticky timer...
Next up are Claire's toys/clothes... so if anyone around here that's reading this blog is looking for (or knows someone who needs) toddler type toys/clothes let me know, she has wayyyy too many.
After Claire's toys/clothes I will probably be done until next season, unless I find something else that needs organizing/de-cluttering... I do keep a junk drawer in the kitchen, but I organized that a couple of weeks ago too... it has a battery kit, candles and some pens/paper for lists and such....
My Aunt Cindy once told me that I should start a business, de-cluttering people's items, because I love it so much. That would be the BEST job ever.

The artist in all of us

“Art is not only for the few who develop a talent or master a medium. We all can use various art forms to facilitate self expression and personal growth.”  Natalie Rogers, Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy by Gerald Corey

Thank you Natalie Rogers for that reassurance! A few people recently have asked me why I decided to start blogging. Blogging is a way of self expression, an artwork... I have always kept a prayer journal, this journal is similar, but electronic and public.  N. Rogers has encountered many people with sad stories about how they no longer feel as though they are contributors to the art world. Perhaps they were coloring a picture in grade school and the teacher told them they were using the wrong colors, or coloring outside the lines. Our education system, whether you like it or not, pushes conformity. It is desired that all of the students to do the exact same thing and travel down the exact same paths and color in all of the same lines. There are many problems with this, but mainly we are squashing any hopes of creativity. 

If we want our future to be creative souls then we need to accept them for whatever color they may choose to be their favorite. Right now, my daughter, Claire's favorite color is Brown. However, this color changes daily.
She is getting to the age (approaching 3 in May) where she desires to be just like me and wants to marry her daddy. (my favorite color is not brown, but she doesn't know that yet). This is totally normal! Of course, I am getting a little nervous that I am going to cause her to forget who she is and become who I want her to become. She will ask me everyday when she is getting dressed "Mom, are you wearing your boots today?" "Yes, Claire I am wearing my boots today." "OK, then I want to wear my boots too." or if she gets to choose an M&M, a treat for using the restroom (she doesn't need this potty training reinforcement but we both really like peanut butter M&M's so we still eat one.. anyway, she will ask me, "Mom, did you choose the yellow M&M?" "I haven't picked mine yet, you pick first." "OK, but I want you to pick the Yellow one like me." "OK, I will."
You see where this is going? This is my daily conversation, with everything. You name it, she wants to make sure that I approve, agree, comply and that I am also going to be enjoying what she is enjoying and visa-versa. 

Claire colored this picture and I labeled each person for her. 

Did I tell all of you about the time I asked Claire what her favorite thing to do was? If I did, sorry for the repeat, but when I asked her, she answered that she loved playing outside with her best friend Bobbi. I asked her what her next favorite thing to do was and she said "Poop and Pee!" and then we both laughed all the way home from school! However, the other day she asked me what my favorite things to do are and I answered that I loved snuggling on the couch with her and reading stories. You guessed it, I asked her yesterday what her favorite thing to do is and she answered "read." She has actually always been a lover of written words, just like her mom and dad : ) but I hope she still loves playing outside with Bobbi and of course going to the bathroom works too, I will accept her even if I don't agree, ha ha.

So what are some other art forms that I use for self expression and personal growth, besides writing? I run, attend spin classes and boot camp style/cross fit classes... I'm not super fast, and I am not in the Olympics, but exercise is a release for me, a way of letting go of the troubles through my days, a therapy of sorts. I don't have to be "good at it" like I would have to be if I were to join perhaps a soccer or dance team. For all of you that know about how uncoordinated I am, don't worry I won't be joining any teams. 
 I am excited to grow with Claire on her journey, explore her artistic nature, help her find her ways of self expression and personal growth. I am excited to see how she glorifies God with her life.

So, let me conclude with this question: Were your artistic abilities squashed? What happened? How are you creative today? How do you express yourself? What helps you in your journey of self exploration?

learning stuff

I am learning a lot of cool stuff at school.

I come home every Tuesday/Thursday with a brain-full of new information to relay to any poor individual that comes within my path.. Typically my husband, Chase...my sister, Justine.. or my 2 year old daughter, Claire.. and now you dear reader.

So last week in my Abnormal psychology class we discussed the DSM4 and the 5 Axis (or Axi ? ) ... anyway there are 5 of them.
 Axis I, is where a therapist/counselor/psychologist would code the client for any current disorders..anything and everything is here from autism to anxiety.,..
Axis II, any personality disorders (a long standing inflexible, maladaptive personality trait that is impairing the persons functioning.) For example a psychopath has an antisocial disorder..
Axis III is any medical condition that the person may have (be careful here for hypochondriacs hahaha they've got them all ha.. oh that's not funny.. ok it is a little).. For example: someone with generalized anxiety (axis 1), may have a dependent personality (axis II), and they may have hypertension and high blood pressure (axis 3) you see how these are all related!?
Axis IV is the Psychosocial and environmental problems a person may have, perhaps they are homeless, have no insurance, no job, financial problems, marriage problems.. the list goes on and on. Axis V is their current level of adaptive functioning (THAT is quite a long list I won't go into much detail.. ok just a little in a minute)...
So take this example
Imagine a a herion addict ... on axis I they have substance dependency.. Axis II may have an antisocial personality...on Axis III maybe they shared too many needles, now they have HIV or hepatitis C, they could be homeless, Axis IV.
In order to determine their level of adaptive functioning one would want to use the GAF (global assessment of functioning) Score.. this is from a 1-100 (being number one on this scale is NOT desirable..that would be something close to being in a mental hospital strapped down to a bed doing .. well not doing anything much.) I would have to agree with my professor and say I know no one that is a 91-100 .. a 91-100, if they exist they have superior functioning over a variety of activities with no symptoms or conditions... if you find this person I bet they are pretty annoying or boring.
Most people are about 61-80, a transient/mild with predictable reactions to stressful events, mild symptoms, a little anxiety or depression every now and then, may have some difficulty at work, sometimes can't sleep.. etc...
I would much rather be in this range than the 21-40 impairment/hallucination zone.. think shopping cart lady that argues with an illusion.. no thank you! anything lower than 20 they definitely need to be watched they are a danger to themselves and others...Who decides what your score is? A counselor, of course. And according to my professor scores can go up; there is HOPE!

Then, last Tuesday night I went to an amazing class called Counseling/Psych 174: Introduction to Counseling. I have a great, talented, smart instructor and I am super excited about this class. We talked about counselors, their issues, and how they need to be self aware so they don't unknowingly bring biases into a counseling session.  During this class I realized one of the many reasons I am obtaining my Master's in counseling... my favorite part of teaching junior high was developing their trust...the interactions with my students, giving advice, being real, enjoying their company. I think that Junior high students need an outlet, besides just their peers and parents,  a safe adult to talk to and reach out to and to look up to as a role model. The teaching part is fun, don't get me wrong, but teaching basic facts is boring, teaching life lessons, now that's where the real fun is!  Tonight we will discuss Ethics. I get to find out if it is ok to buy kids lunch.. I hope so...

This morning in my abnormal psych class we talked about tests... like the ink blot kind of tests... my professor asked if someone  was fixating on perhaps female anatomy that maybe they would be categorized with a problem.. of course always the funny one I retorted with "or they may be a gynecologist " Don't worry he thinks I am funny, and doesn't take me seriously. Anyway, then he showed us some ink blots from the Rorschach... The first one I saw the Eiffel Tower and a girl next to me saw seahorses.. some other people in class saw some other cool things.. anyway he told me and my elbow partner that we are lucky to sit together  because we both answered the way a normal person would/should. Ha! I thought that was hilarious news. Then he said we should take these "ink blots" and other discussed tests with us when we are pursuing our potential "suitors".. Of course we all laughed, but then I thought "Oh my poor husband! He's going to get analyzed for life!"

What do you see?

Well, I am sure you are super excited to have read a small bit about what I am learning about right now. Be excited, be very excited.
Maybe next time I will blog about some more cool stuff Claire is up to...like vacuuming couches..

Oh, and number one lesson from my psych teacher: Empathy is key.

Disneyland 2013

Disneyland.

5 girls.
1 hotel room
1/2 marathon

running
swag

Lounging poolside

exploring
eating
California adventure

Mouse Ears